A Peek Into My New Book

“Insight Out: One Blind Woman’s View of Her Life” is now available on Amazon or through

Dldbooks.com/maryhiland

Today I’d like to offer you a peek into the book by giving you the Forward. Here it is.

Tipping the aspirin into my hand, I accidentally let one fall into the sink. I tried to retrieve it, but it had already slipped down the drain.

Oh well, I thought. I have this huge bottle. There are plenty more.

But when that bottle is nearly empty, I won’t be so casual about the loss of a pill here or there.

It’s the same with anything we value. If we know we have plenty more where that came from, who cares if we lose some? Take money, for instance. It’s easy to be generous when your wallet is full. It’s tempting to spend freely when you have plenty of money.

But what about opportunities that have slipped down the drain, like making someone smile, doing someone a favor, showing affection, forgiving a transgression, asking for forgiveness, or sharing a story about your childhood with your grandchildren?

Indeed, what about our days in this life? Each time I let one slip down the drain, wasting it, I can’t be sure there are plenty more. It’s good to think of that when I make decisions about what to do or not do with each day as it comes and goes.

Now that all the people in my family who were older than I are gone, I find myself wishing I’d had the forethought to ask more questions about their lives before I came along. The world did not begin with me. I missed a whole lot of it. Not that I needed to know everything about everyone, but even though I heard stories from time to time, I still wonder why and how and when and where some important pieces of the story of my family turned out the way they did.

My descendants may not be at all interested in my history, but just in case they are, I’m not letting my story slip down the drain.

Mary Hiland

Mary.hiland@wowway.com

www.seeingitmyway.com

/Author of

“Insight Out: One Blind woman’s View of Her Life”

And

“The Bumpy Road to Assisted Living A Daughter’s Memoir”

Available at Amazon.com, dldbooks, and NLS Talking Books DB 91261

My New Book, Just Launched

WraparoundCover.jpgFor many years, good friends have urged me to write a book about my life. As I approach a mile-stone birthday, this seems like a good time to launch my second book, “Insight Out: One Blind Woman’s View of Her Life.” Here is the synopsis, which you will see on the back cover. I hope you will be inspired to buy a copy through

dldbooks.com/maryhiland

Have you ever had questions about how a blind person survives in a sighted world? Have you ever wanted to know more about guide dogs or service animals? If so, did you think that asking such questions would be rude or inappropriate? Have you ever avoided a conversation with a blind person because you didn’t know what to say? Or have you made assumptions that you found out too late really didn’t apply?

Insight Out: One Blind Woman’s View of Her Life gives you a peek inside the life of a real live person who is totally blind. While she’s never climbed Mount Everest or sailed across the ocean alone, she reveals her strategies for pursuing a life full of experiences, achievements, and realized goals.

This memoir is constructed not in chronological order, not as a medical history, but as a realistic description of many aspects of the author’s life. While each chapter reveals a new facet of how she meets the demands of living without sight, this is no Pollyanna–like picture. Ms. Hiland tells it like it is. She is always honest. Her observations are authentic, and her story is inspiring.

Her personality is on full display. You’ll feel her frustrations, celebrate her victories, and share in her sense of humor. You’ll gain new understanding of how blind people are different and how they are not. Myths and misperceptions are explored through thoughtful, sensitive, and personal stories—some of which may even give you a new perspective on your own life.

This book is for you if you know someone who is blind and would like to understand that person better. It’s for those who are experiencing vision loss and need a positive perspective to deal with this traumatic time in their lives. It’s for sighted people who are simply curious, who want to learn more about people who are not like them. And it’s for people who are blind, so they can say with the author, “Yes. This is how it is.”

Christmas Card Spoof

Do you send Christmas letters? They are not coming to my mailbox as often as they used to. One day, back in the 90s, I was feeling a bit mischievous, so I sent out this one. I still chuckle when I read it for old time’s sake. I hope you do too. No offense, please, to my friends who sent such letters. This is just for fun.

Dear Friends,

Here it is 1999 already, and I didn’t have time to send you our

family Christmas letter. I didn’t get a chance to brag about all

our accomplishments, our fabulous vacations, the intelligence of my

grandchild, the beauty of my home, the amazing talents of my dogs,

and all our altruistic and philanthropic endeavors. So, here they

are now.

Kara has been working on her phd in metaphysics. She got a late

start on this career choice, as she’s been leading an

anthropological expedition in outer Mongolia. Her work with Unwed

Mothers in Crisis in the inner city was put on hold, while she

completed this part of the fellowship grant she received from

Harvard.

Steve has passed the CPA exam, the Bar, and the Boards for medical

examiner for the CIA. In his spare time, he has been writing a

documentary on preserving cacao trees in Brazil. For fun, Steve

has taken up mountaineering, and last June, he completed his fifth

ascent on Mount Everest. Tammy does not accompany him on these

expeditions, as she has been busy prosecuting the attorneys in the

Monica Lewinski hearings. Her travels to Washington have not

interfered with her love of flying. Last spring, she bought her

own plane and is now teaching their little girl, Meghan to fly. On

January 1, Meghan will fly her first solo, although she is only

three months old. We think she’ll be ready though, as she has

already mastered the internet and is fluent in three languages,

thanks to her Aunt Kara.

Mother celebrated her 107th birthday with a modest party in London

for 500 of her closest friends and international business

acquaintances. She turned down a marriage proposal, however,

because she still likes her space and independence. As she says,

why should she put up with some old man who probably wouldn’t let

her race cars anymore.

I’m still working, although my lottery winnings from last February

have allowed me to try some exciting new experiences. I bought

some state of the art cameras and developing equipment, and have

become quite good as a photographer, and I really enjoy processing

my own photos. Perhaps you’ve seen some of my work in the Chicago

Museum of Modern Art. I’ve also resumed dance lessons, and just

last month, I was finally accepted as a member of the world famous

Rockettes. Imagine that, at my age! Of course, I’ll have to give

up my job at the radio reading service, but dancing has always been

my first love, as you know. Chocolate is my second love, so that’s

why I’ve been so thrilled with Steve’s documentary on cacao trees.

Sherry continues to be the epitome of Seeing Eye superiority. She

was honored at the Whitehouse for her bravery and supreme

intellectual agility, when saving the lives of three infants who

were drowning in Lake Erie. She wears her ribbons proudly as she

conducts weekly tours at the Seeing Eye. Her goal is to recruit

only the finest of golden retrievers and to increase their

percentage of the class. It’s her version of affirmative action.

Genie’s still kicking at age 17. And that’s the truth, the only

truth.

Here’s hoping your 1999 is at least as glamorous and exciting,

fulfilling, and memorable as this fantasy I’ve just recounted. And

if that’s not what you really want, here’s hoping you keep smiling,

keep loving, and keep in touch.

Mary Hiland

Mary.hiland@wowway.com

www.seeingitmyway.com

Author of “The Bumpy Road to Assisted Living A Daughter’s Memoir”

Available at Amazon.com, dldbooks, and NLS Talking Books DB 91261

Alexa is listening

As I cuddled up with Dora this afternoon for a rest after a workout at the y, a sound from my Echo Dot made me sit up in alarm. Then I remembered that this sound is a notification that an Amazon package had been delivered. Of all the uses for this wonderful tool, this is probably the most practical. Hearing what weather will greet me as I take Dora out for the first time in the morning is a strong contender for first place in the usefulness category. Come to think of it, Alexa’s many talents enrich my life on a daily, even hourly basis.

I am a terrible speller as you no doubt have noticed, but my spelling should have improved over the last couple of years, because I am constantly asking her how to spell this or that. When I can’t think of just the right word, she supplies me with synonyms. When I am reading a book that introduces me to unfamiliar words, I just ask Alexa what they mean. What a complex and fascinating piece of technology. I love this little assistant so much that I have set her up in each of 5 rooms in my house, thanks to special deals on Amazon. I must admit that every morning, I ask her what her deals are, just to keep up with what things cost in our society today. OK. That’s a lie. Sometimes I actually buy something, like an extremely marked down Echo Dot. I have also ordered gifts and inexpensive items just for fun. It’s so easy. All I have to do is tell her to order it, and it appears on my doorstep the next day. I never buy paper towels or dog food or coffee or any number of staples at the store anymore. When I’m getting close to being out of dog food, I just say, “Alexa, I need dog food,” and she confirms which brand I normally buy, and voila. Done.

Each morning, I say good morning to Alexa, and she gives me a fun fact. Next, I ask her for the “question of the day.” She gives me a multiple choice question that either proves what a genius I am or what a loser I am when it comes to sports or movies. But having some years on me has helped when the category is general knowledge. I also enjoy word games and Jeopardy on an occasional evening. And NPR is immediately available just for the asking. Podcasts and music fill my kitchen when I’m doing the dishes. Shall I go on?

But here’s where the story gets a little weird. One morning, as I settled down with my tea to listen to the newspaper on the phone, via Newsline, a service from the National Federation of the Blind, I forgot to turn my radio on to a classical music station. I like to have some music in the background, and when I hear a familiar piece, I put the newspaper on pause and just enjoy the music for a minute or 2. On this particular morning, I said out loud, as if to Dora, “Oh I forgot my music.” And without missing a beat, so to speak, Alexa piped up and said, “Here’s some music I think you will enjoy.” Not only that, but she played a piece by one of my favorite composers—all this without my asking her for it. I wanted to say, “I wasn’t talking to you,” which I wasn’t . It was a little unsettling, but I’ve heard that she can be listening. So you better watch out, you better not cry. You better not pout. I’m telling you why. Alexa’s listening all of the time.

Mary Hiland

Mary.hiland@wowway.com

www.seeingitmyway.com

Author of “The Bumpy Road to Assisted Living A Daughter’s Memoir”

Available at Amazon.com, dldbooks, and NLS Talking Books DB 91261

Hiking, Shopping, and Editing

The last month has taken me to everything but writing for this blog. Today I hope to fill you in, and then you will have all the news until I get inspired, or I have an afternoon free.

My annual Hen Hike, a week-long hiking trip with 9 other women, half of whom are blind, was organized by my good friend Eve in the most unlikely place for a hike—Tucson. Yes, it was hot. Yes, it was the desert. And yes, we had a wonderful time learning about the desert. And no, we did not camp. We stayed in a fabulous house with 7 bedrooms, a million pillows, giant furniture in giant rooms, with 3 seating areas outside, a hot tub, and a resident giant turtle. This year’s Hen Hike was unique to say the least. We celebrated our 20th anniversary by making plans for next year’s hike. It might be Georgia or maybe Kentucky, 2 places we have not hiked yet. The world has not seen the last of us.

The week after I returned, my daughter Kara came for a visit with the express purpose of helping me get through an extensive to-do list that included an extensive shopping list and finally, the end of dealing with papers from my mother’s long and studious life. Kara and I literally shopped til we dropped when we ran around from store to store to complete my Christmas shopping. But it was most satisfying to shop on line from my couch for many odds and ends that I needed for my everyday life. Kara put in a nonstop weekend, but she says she felt good about getting so much done, and she enjoyed a little break from her duties at home. We even had lunch one day with my son Steve, just the 3 of us. I can’t remember the last time we did that.

One of the most productive activities of the weekend, aside from finishing my Christmas shopping was revising my manuscript for my next book. Kara had read it thoroughly and meticulously, making notes for questioning me when she got here. Because I value her opinion more than anyone’s, I took her suggestions to heart, and the day after she left, I spent the next week reading and revising and sending my corrections to my editor. Thanks to Kara’s questioning comments and detailed criticisms, it’s a much better book. I hope it can be launched by Christmas. It’s titled “Insight Out, One Blind Woman’s View of Her Life.” My editor is currently sifting through the photos I sent her to include, and together, we’re choosing just the right ones to tell my story.

On this first day of December, I now have time to write, to reflect on the season, to plan my dinner with Steve’s family, to get my gifts wrapped with the help of my good friend sherri, to daydream about spending Christmas with Kara’s family, to attend several concerts, all because most of the editing is behind me, and so is most of my shopping. Did I mention that Kara helped me with that monumental task? And that, dear Friends, is the best gift of all.

For too many years, I’ve run myself ragged trying to get shopping and wrapping done, meal planning and entertaining. Celebrating the birth of Christ had to be put off until Christmas Eve, and then I was exhausted. This year, I will have time and energy, thanks to my daughter and some wonderful friends who have helped make that happen. Stay tuned as I share my anticipated joy.

Mary Hiland

Mary.hiland@wowway.com

www.seeingitmyway.com

Author of “The Bumpy Road to Assisted Living A Daughter’s Memoir”

Available at Amazon.com, dldbooks, and NLS Talking Books DB 91261

Autumn Sun

In yesterday’s paper, the First Person column was written by me. In case you don’t live where I do, I’m sharing it with you here. Enjoy.

I lay on my back in the grass with an Irish Setter puppy on my chest. I stroked her head and back, breathed in the turnip fragrance of her puppy nose, and felt the warmth of the sun on her coppery puppy fur. Together, we soaked up the peace of a sleepy October afternoon. I gazed up at the bluest of skies and declared to this precious little being that autumn is the best season of all. I was a young teen then, but over the years, many happy memories made in the fall have colored my life with the brilliance of that perfect blue sky.

My dad enjoyed hunting, and every fall, he and my mother and I would travel to what was called a sportsman’s club somewhere in rural Ohio. Skeet shooting was the featured activity of the morning for the men, as their wives prepared an enormous pot luck dinner. While the other women stirred the beans and set the tables, my mother and I took long walks in the woods and along the pond. We gathered cat tails, bittersweet, and other plants to make our annual fall bouquet. We hunted for buckeyes and added them to our treasures.

Those long walks in the woods created in me a love of hiking, especially in the fall. Twenty years ago, I contacted a friend who lives on the East Coast, and together we formed a group of twelve women, half of whom are blind, for a week of hiking in New England, and we called it “The Hen Hike.” We stayed in bed and breakfasts and hiked about four hours a day for a week. Every morning we’d pair up—each woman who is blind holding an arm or a strap from the back pack of her sighted guide, and two by two, we’d set off down the trail. We packed lunches in the morning and devoured them somewhere in the woods, sitting on a log or a group of rocks by a babbling stream. We tipped our faces up to the sun, touched the carpet of moss, climbed over fallen logs, stepped from one wobbly rock to another over little brooks, and marveled at the quiet of the forests. Sometimes the only sounds we heard were our own voices, raised in laughter and chatter as we walked along on leaf-covered paths. Once a day, we would stop at a particularly beautiful spot for five minutes of absolute silence. We would pray, or meditate, or do nothing at all but enjoy the serenity that surrounded us. Five minutes of silence is about all you can ask of a dozen happy hikers, but we looked forward to that healing time each day. Rather than camp fires at night, we enjoyed wine and cheese back at the B&B followed by a gourmet dinner. Bedtime came early after hiking in the splendor of a New England fall day.

Since those first few years, we’ve hiked in many different states, from Minnesota to Tennessee, and last year, we stayed at Punderson State Park, right here in Ohio. For our twentieth anniversary next month, we’re hiking in Tucson. We’re swapping heavy jackets and gloves for sun screen and hats. Our guides will have a different kind of challenge as we thread our way between cacti and boulders, but we are all up to the adventure. We might not be tipping our faces to the sun, but we’ll be toasting ourselves at Happy Hour for 20 years of celebrating the joy of hiking and the power of friendship.

Mary Hiland

Mary.hiland@wowway.com

www.seeingitmyway.com

Author of “The Bumpy Road to Assisted Living A Daughter’s Memoir”

Available at Amazon.com, dldbooks, and NLS Talking Books DB 91261

5K for K9s

Last year, right about this time, my friend Dan and I participated in a 5-K walk/run to benefit FOTS, Friends of the Shelter. The cause appealed to us as dog lovers, and we enjoyed it so much, that we returned, along with about 400 other people and their dogs. You might recall my story about the pig who walked last year, named Kevin Bacon. We looked for him, but he was not there. The announcer for the event mentioned his name, but so many dogs were barking in their eagerness to get started that we couldn’t hear why Kevin was missing. 400 dogs all in one place, made for an exciting start, although it was a bit overwhelming to Dora, and she, not a barker in harness, tried to hide between Dan and me as we waited for the runners to go by before we started our walk. Not all the dogs were eager to run or walk. A little dog named Spike, whom Dan had been baby-sitting, had to come with us, and although he was really cute, he was much more interested in sniffing and trying his darnedest to mark every blade of grass along the way than keeping up with Dora. Dan finally picked him up and carried him most of the time. Carrying 20 pounds of dog for 3 miles proved to be quite a workout for my friend, who has undergone 3 major surgeries in the past few months, but Dan is a terrifically good sport, and he is no stranger to physical fitness.

I like this trail, because there are about 4 different surfaces that we walk on, making the course interesting and enabling me to keep track of where we are, particularly on the way back. “Oh good. Here’s the little woods we went through with the uphill, and we get rewarded with a little downhill on the way back, and we’re about halfway through the second half. Oh good. Here’s the stretch of grass near the lake, and now we’re back on the concrete, so I know the end is in sight.” And “Here’s the little rise in the surface that tells me we’re crossing the finish line.” My biggest problem was not the heat or the distance but a persistent bee or maybe several persistent bees that made my head their target. Note to self for next year. Don’t use the strawberry shampoo that morning.

Some of the experienced walkers with dogs who couldn’t manage a walk like this, due to hip problems or short legs, used special doggy strollers or back packs for their pups. If we do this again next year, and if we let Spiky come with us, we might have to invest in one of those carriers. My running days are over, but I can still keep up a pretty good pace with my energetic Dora.

Dora is 7, about middle-age for her breed, but she and I are still a good team, especially when we have “Uncle Dan” walking just behind my right shoulder, giving me a heads up when a change in terrain might trip me or when slower walkers might make me wonder why Dora is slowing down. He’s great at keeping me informed, like when runners came toward us on our left on their return to the start and when a guy was returning with his dog draped over his shoulders and when we were approaching a water stop. Of course Dora wouldn’t drink from the common bowl. ”What? Drink after those other dogs? You can’t be serious.” I had to give her a drink from my cup. I tried to ignore Dan when he’d say, “Oh my gosh. You 2 are so amazing. She is so smart. I’m so impressed.” I used to be uncomfortable with his effusive praise, but now I just accept it and keep moving. What’s impressive is Dora’s professional behavior in this setting. And I’m so thankful for my friend’s dedication to our being able to participate and to our safety. Thanks Dan. Same time next year?

Mary Hiland

Mary.hiland@wowway.com

www.seeingitmyway.com

Author of “The Bumpy Road to Assisted Living A Daughter’s Memoir”

Available at Amazon.com, dldbooks, and NLS Talking Books DB 91261